Playing nine holes of golf with the mystival Shivas Irons Society, who spice up the game with meditation, classical music, and alternative methods of keeping score. Originally published in San Francisco magazine Read the rest of this entry »

My version of Montana turns out vastly different than Tom McGuane’s. This was performed at the Litquake literary festival, along with a snippet of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell.” Read the rest of this entry »

The eerie similarity between my dog’s coprophagia and American foreign policy. First performed at San Francisco’s Progressive Reading Series, on a bill with Jane Smiley and Jonathan Franzen. A more family-friendly version was later published in Bark magazine. Read the rest of this entry »

A delightful lunch in London devolves into a bout of Gwen Stefani-induced bile. Read the rest of this entry »

I haven’t written much about this era of my life, and I don’t know exactly why it feels time to post a few things about it. Probably because if something isn’t available online, it automatically doesn’t exist for a lot of people. And perhaps because enough time has passed. And maybe because I’m publishing a new book about punk rock history, and people aren’t sure if I was ever a punk. Anyway, here goes.
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Behind the scenes of a porn movie shoot in which I appear as an extra (fully clothed, with three hours’ sleep). This 1995 film “Dog Walker,” directed by John Leslie, won four AVN awards including best director and best screenplay, no doubt in part because of my one line of dialogue. Excerpted from “Sex, American Style.”

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This began innocently enough, as a magazine assignment about Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

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A trip to Mexico on the eve of the California gubernatorial election culminates in an unforeseen encounter with a bigshot celebrity.

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The treacheries of the world ice golf championships, held on the frozen waters of western Greenland.

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A unique home-made product from California’s wine country. And unlike the WMD in Iraq, the Wine of Mass Destruction actually exists.

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“Riding black” in Prague, waiting for Sumo and dreaming of defenestration. Outtakes from “Sumo in Prague.”

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Two pieces about the late comedian/satirist Bill Hicks.

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One of the fastest fish in the sea. Razor sharp teeth. Just try and catch one.

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Part of a work in progress, a collection of stories about growing up in the modern American west. Some of these chapters have been performed at readings, and recorded for radio.

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A true story about my first encounter with hippies.

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Immediately after the 9/11 attacks, I wrote down everything I saw or heard in the media, and fashioned a sort of poem. A month later, I read it at San Francisco’s Edinburgh Castle pub, and then recorded an audio version for Salon.com. It’s now been published as part of the Public House anthology.

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An essay on the life of the late Hawaiian musician Israel Kamakawiwo’ole.

Over the Rainbow

Honolulu, two a.m. Music producer Jon de Mello is sleeping when the phone rings. It’s Israel, one of the artists he represents for his Mountain Apple record label. And Israel is wide awake. He often has problems at night because his weight upwards of 700 pounds forces him to sleep while hooked up to an oxygen tank. He tells de Mello he wants to record, right now. Read the rest of this entry »